"So I'm pathetic for falling in love...? How could he love someone so low...But she's right...I'm some low beggar who mooches off of everyone else...
I hate them for doing that...They were probably celebrating when she said all of those things...They're just actin ghurt...the both of them are fucking zisigui...
I'm giving up on love."
Sometimes he's silent. Sometimes he's weeping. Sometimes he's downright wailing. I'm too afraid to ask him why though...Rai has told me everything he could and even then he doesn't know what happened...
I offered to play football (Soccer) with mama and I could tell he was looking at the ball as if it were somebody's head...I saw him draw targets on the sun of a Japanese flag, hang it up and shoot at it in some form of target practice. He burned it afterwards...He found another and burned that too.
When he lays in bed I can tell he wants someone to hold him; although that someone, I have a feeling, must be physically larger than himself...Rai
I caught mom cutting himself in his room...with Adrik...he was muttering things to himself, and all I caught was:"Your dad left your mom Adrik...your dad never loved your mom."
"Fighting pain with pain is the only way...I'll teach you how to do it when you get older aru."
He wrote "愛" all over the walls in his room with his own blood and shot them right through the center with a gun...Oh and he's already burned everything worth any sort of value...His guitars, a few stereo systems, clocks, bed sheets, clothes, books, flags, silverware; basically anything he could get his hands on, so Baiciro, Izzy and I hid whatever was left...and then some.
Not sure if he can hear anyone since he tried drowning the world out through blasting music. Not on a stereo, but on an MP3 player that got burned later as well...And I'm saying that because Izzy's suspecting that he's blown out his hearing...giving that she talks to him the most out of Baiciro and I...(Soong and Young can't even talk yet and I'm planning on bringing them over to Yin's (1P China =SpiritedAura
) house soon...)
He sat on the couch and watched a channel that was in Russian for hours before burning the TV...And he's been staring at Baiciro a lot lately. I'm not quite sure...but I think I have an idea as to why. I'll be keeping an eye on that, but he disappeared before I could confirm anything and hasn't been home since...and being the pessimistic guy I am, I'm assuming he's either doing drugs or selling himself...And I pray to God that it isn't the former.Izzy
Ever since I moved in with father, I've noticed that something is constantly wrong...I've been able to brush it off up until now. He'd open the fridge and forget what he was doing and just stand there until I remind him that the food will spoil if he doesn't close it...He hasn't been able to hear me lately though and I'm starting to think that he's gone deaf to some extent...
He walks around the house like it's his first time in it too. Rai, Baiciro and I have hidden matches, oil, knives, forks, wire, fireworks and explosives, any form of medicine, keys, just...anything that you can hurt yourself with...which is quite a bit.
Rai told me to scream if he tries anything with electricity and he'll proceed with shutting the entire neighborhood down...
From what I've observed...and this is just an assumption, is that he isn't upset about the 'main thing'. It seems like he's more upset about something someone said...Okay it's hard to explain, but hopefully this gets my point across. Anyways that's my guess.
--You're the source of my pain aren't you...? Then I have no choice but to eliminate you.
(We (meaning *Ask-Ookami-2PJapan
(2P FemFrance/2P Russia's wife)) just dropped a brotherfucking drama bomb; omg
But anyways, this is just basically something like multiple journal entries...I didn't feel like writing another journal though lol.)
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